stop & smell the flowers

Travel blog:

What have I been doing with my life?
Where have I been? How long was I gone?
What do I pray for?
Where am I going next?
Tell me some stories.

And my personal favorite upon updating a friend, “How does one acquire the life of Caralee?” It just comes naturally.

So now, The life & times of Caralee Lacie:

http://unworthybeloved.wordpress.com/2012/03/10/hello-world/

Currently, there are 10 posts dating back to my time in Kauai and up to the first leg of my South America excursion. These should keep you busy as I continue to write about the rest of my time in the Southernlands and what’s next. I invite you to read along, there will be more- much, much more!

I want you to know; it’s a pain in the neck being the way that I am, and even more so because I am female.

The will of God is a funny thing. Sometimes it is an irresistible force propelling you into a specified course of action and other times it is more or less left up to your own judgement. It’s not like God is saying, “I don’t care what you do, do whatever you want.” It’s more like He is saying, “Here, I have laid out a few options for you; using wisdom discern what would be the best one.”

I mostly like to live with the philosophy of “Love God, and do what you want.” However, to me that doesn’t mean, “I am going to do whatever I please and God is just going to love me no matter what.” To me it means, SINCE I love God I want to do only the things that glorify Him. Wherever I want to go, whatever I want to do means nothing until I can confidently say that it is for His glory. If I travel for the sake of travel and not for the sake of any ministry or mission, then my travel is in vain. I am no better than any other non-believer with a thirst for the unknown adventures of the universe. I am not saying that for you traveling or vacationing is wrong if you are not going to be serving the Lord, but for me I almost feel like it is. If I am proclaiming the name of Christ and professing to live for Him but I am traveling to satisfy my own lust of exploration, then I am not living up to what I claim. I am not practicing what I preach, I am not living for God. I am essentially lying, to myself and to others if this is what I am doing.

It is true that Jesus sent the disciples out in twos, and you know what? If I had someone to go with, I would probably already be gone. I am not afraid to go out on my own, if need be- because of my own arrogant independence, perhaps, or because of my faith in God’s protection over me, I do not know. I may be inexperienced in certain things, but I can guarantee that I am not as naive as some may think I am. Isn’t it true that the only way to gain experience is by doing the very thing you wish to experience? How else would you accurately acquaint yourself with the thing? I desire to gain experience into a field that my heart has longed for ever since I can remember, a field that my upbringing was not exactly accommodating to. I desire to gain experience in what I hope to make of the rest of my life, in all of it’s various forms. I long for a life of missions, a life spent serving my Lord and Saviour, bringing His message and His love to the ends of the Earth. 

Getting into contact with ministries, churches, orphanages in an area I have been praying about for quite a while, seems like a very logical step in the right direction. I am realizing more as I go however, that I either need someone to go with me (for the sake of loved one’s worries) or I must narrow down my field of vision to a select few countries with a very specific goal at hand and acquire a conducive, constructive and considerate behavior or attitude which is essential for sympathizing with the concerns of others. I want to be apart from any apprehensions due to preconceived ideas so that I may learn what it is do be in a ministry serving the Lord, serving His people, being a part of His work. 

At this point, God hasn’t told me “No.” However, I also cannot say in confidence that He is calling me to Europe. I am seeking Him, I am seeking counsel, wisdom, and perspectives. I am waiting, and I can’t say patiently. I am tormented by a restlessness that swims in the very blood pumping through my veins, and as long as this heart continues to beat that blood will continue to flow edging me on to the farthest reaches. It’s just a fact.

Lord, have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways.

 I know that it is difficult for you to observe me living an unconventional life, I want you to know that I do the best I can to tame my bizarre, perhaps nonsensical and occasionally outrageous ideas. If you only knew half the reckless and audacious ideas that flood my consciousness on a daily basis… Please, just pray for me. When you have a concern come and speak with me. I only ask that you allow me to reserve the right to follow God’s lead, and to seize opportunity, attempting to understand where it is that I am coming from.